Currently Listening Curtain Call By Eminem When I'm Gone see related

Well its been a while.. im sorry.. thanks for all the great comments i love u guys so much....but neways i really just dont have a lot of time on my hands... nuthins changed tho.. still upset and still sad.  I knw i knw but u guys its hard... i think its not helpin that i knw matt is so upset... cuz i love him and i dont want him to be hurt.. but i knw things will get better for us.. i mean thas all we can hope n pray for.. but we finally rented us a house....its pritty nice but we're gonna make it better.. we're gonna get our furniture this weekend cuz matt gets paiiiidddddd..Im so excited.. i mean im so happy that we've taken another step in our relationship...but its not been an easy road to get here believe me... but we have a strong relationship.. i knew we'd make it this far.. i knew we loved each other enuff.. but for V-day he got me 2 DOZEN of beautifulllllllll pink roses.. gosh i love them so much and he got me a cute teddy bear.. i love them ... well not as much as i do him but u knw lol.. tomar we r goin 2 his lil nephews v-day dance.. i really hope he gets prince.. itll be a fun time i hope.. then saturday we're goin 2 charleston and junk... hopefully we get all the furniture and crap.. i gotta go to the doctor again saturday so that'll prolly ruin our day.. i hope not tho.. Kaitlan's mom talked to me today and was tellin me to keep playin softball i dunno tho.. i just really cant decide right now.. i mean i knw i love it and everything and ive worked really hard over the years to get to where i am now but i dunno things between matthew and i are great and i wanna keep doin wat we've been doin u knw.. i want us to have another baby... whether its now or later ... but i just wanna be with him everyday i dont wanna leave him.. itd be so hard to go on away games and stuff.. i dunno and all the drama with softball i mean i dunno i cant think.. but neways i have done absolutely nothing today.. i went to Hollywood kids with Whitney to help her find Maddi and Hannah sumthin for the dance tomar.. they'll lookeed too cute... and well thas about it.. so im gonna sit here until my babbbyyyyy gets home and then well ill be with him so im gonna get off here.. ill try n post again sum other timeeee bye luvvvvvvs :)

Currently Listening Pickin' on Rascal Flatts 2: Fast Cars and Long Road By Various Artists What Hurts The Most see related

Well this has been a week from hell.. yea thas right.. our everyday now is a bad dream that keeps repeating...everything we were excited for, hoping for, living for, and wanting is gone... i lost the baby sunday night and its the worst pain ive ever felt.. the one thing matthew and i longed for is gone.. our baby, our future... its gone... and now we're just tryin to cope with it..its gonna leave a major scar on us.. but im lucky to have such a great boyfriend.. he has been so supportive and i dunno wat i would do without him... he says he just wants me to be ok and that means alot to me.. but we know that is God wants us to, we'll have a baby soon and i hope he does.. cuz i think we would've been great parents... i mean i see him with other kids and it breaks me into a million pieces cuz i knw how bad he wants a baby and how good of a dad he'd be... i mean we have a wonderful relationship, the best one ive ever had and to me its the only one cuz its the only one that has mattered.. but a baby would have made things a Zillion times better... cuz at first wen we got together i found myself just wanting to be with him, then it got to where i knew i culdnt live without him and then i knew i wanted to spend forever with him and then the baby issue... we knew we wanted a baby together.. and it wouldve just been a bonus for us ... but i guess things happen for a reason and ill never understand that but for right now i guess ill hafta deal with it cuz it already happened.. i wish it wouldnt have, but it did... and now i hafta go thru every night wonderin wat that baby wouldve been like and stuff ya knw.. its so hard and i see matt and i knw hes hurt and i cant stand it.. but we're here for each other and thas all that matters right now... ugh well i guess ive told u guys enuff... im sorry for exploding on here.. ill try to make the next post more enjoyable

Ok this is for EVERYONE that wants to ask everyone else about my fucken life..ok number 1. its none of ur business... 2 if i wanted u to knw i would have told u.... so stop askin everyone about me.. yea thas everybody almost at freakin skool....im pregnant so there it was none of no1's business and wen i wanted everyone to knw i would have said "Hey everybody im pregnant" but guess wat i didnt so u knw ... i mean i told select ppl which r my most of my ONLY true friends and oh yea i love them so hmm maybe thas why they knew and the rest of yall DIDNT!!!! geez well im not the first or the last person to get pregnant at Man High Skool and I aint the youngest or the oldest and i sure at the LAST .. so stop talkin about me and worry about ur own lives :)

I mean it would be fucken different if matt and i didnt love each other and we wasnt gonna be fucken married in the first place.. and oh yea did i forget that wen we did get married we were gonna have kids neways so hmmmmmmmm...think about that for awhile ok?